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Apr. 26th, 2012

Maybe 2012 really is my year.

I hate being sick.

Being sick gives me too much time to just lay here, thinking...

I've done and seen so much in my 22 years of life, most of it happening in the last four or so. You've all pretty much lived it with me or heard me talk about it for hours on end. Now I just feel like I'm stuck in some old routine and I'll never get back to the "I'm gonna do as much as I can while I'm young" thing I had going.

I want to see the rest of America. I want to get over my fear of bridges with a dude who won't let go. I want to visit Australia. I want to live in NZ with my best friend. I want swim in the Pacific Ocean. I want to ride in a hot air balloon, maybe a blimp?! I want to dance in the rain with someone I love in a random ass place. I want to sleep in a haunted hotel. I want to visit really random tourist attractions that are useless to life. I want to see the Eiffel Tower and maybe be kissed under it. I want to go camping, like actual camping...in the woods with a tent and sleeping bags and a fire for a few days! I want to visit amusement parks all over the world and ride as many roller coasters as humanly possible! I want to go horseback ridding on a beach in Hawaii. I want to visit a different part of Canada in hopes it makes me hate it less. I want to learn to scuba dive so I can swim with whales. I want to go to Alaska and fucking stay in an igloo. I want to see sea turtles hatch and swarm into the ocean. I want to hug a mother fucking kola. I want to go apple picking, or strawberry picking, or maybe blueberry picking...or fucking it all of the above in a random state that isn't where I'm living. I want to bungee jump, only not off of a bridge. I want to see the Winter Olympics at least once. I want to climb a waterfall in a forest. Spend NYE in NYC. I want to see the Northern Lights. I want to visit Poland and see why my Grandfather loved it so much. I want to visit Japan and live off of things out of vending machines! I want to go to a farm and milk a cow. I want to own a duck. I want to go to a drive in movie for a first or second date. I want to visit a small village and volunteer there for a while. I want to ride a gondola in Venice. I want to get all the ideas I have in my head tattooed on my body. I want to fall hopelessly in love. I want to learn to fly a plane and do it at least once. I want to go on a safari in Africa. I want to learn how to drive a motorcycle and not be scare out of my mind about it.I want to go to Bulgaria! I want to be care free and happy. After all that I want to have the children I've always wanted and be able to watch them grow up and watch them do all sorts of amazing things with their lives.

Then I want to grow old and be able to write a book of all the amazing things I got to do when I was young.

Fuck this, I'm going to make money, I'm going to spend it on the things I want to do, then I'll worry about growing up. I will write that book one day. That's a fucking promise.

I hate you.

I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate me.

2007

We Are The Kids.

we are the kids who have been saved.

we are the kids who spend tons of money on band merch.

we are the kids who just know without it having to be explained.

we are the kids who can't go a day without speaking of our favorite bands.

we are the kids who have broken down time and time again because it all just makes so much sense to us.

we are the kids who laugh at things that no one else understands.

we are the kids with hundreds of best friends.

we are the kids who will work our asses off without wanting anything in return for our favorite bands.

we are the kids who will always have each other's backs.

we are the kids who will still be best friends on our deathbeds.

we are the kids whose heartbeats are owned by words we've heard so many times.

we are the kids who don't care what anyone else thinks.

we are the kids that stay up 'til three a.m. on the boards.

we are the kids who scream ourselves hoarse.

we are the kids who will wait outside in thirty below weather, with only a hoodie on, with frozen toes and cheeks, until icicles are hanging from us just to say hi.

we are the kids who will take bullets for one another.

we are the kids whose money is best spent on CDs, shows and official fan clubs.

we are the kids who are always around to talk to (and i mean always). we'll run on two hours of sleep if need be, just to help someone else.

we are the kids who are real, who can be spotted from miles away.

we are the kids who manage to incorporate lyrics into school essays.

we are the kids who don't favor your ill-acquired taste, but we don't care if you talk shit. just know, the shittalking will be dished back out to you, tenfold.

we are the kids who know without being told when something's wrong.

we are the kids rarely seen without music blasting our eardrums apart.

we are the kids who would gladly go deaf just to be as close as possible.

we are the kids who suffer from alexithymia when we come face to face with the ones who own our souls forever.

we are the kids who know it can be seen in our eyes.

we are the kids who skip school just to get our hands on a copy of the new record the day it comes out. or in some cases, we have our parents bring it to school. xD

we are the kids who smile all day long after we hear new songs.

we are the kids who have only this.

we are the kids who live to see another day when it seems we can't. for a lot of us, this is our reason for living.

we are the kids who draw inspiration from the love we feel.

we are the kids who find heroes in our favorite bands, in each other.

we are the kids whose "i'd like to meet" section is filled with names of kids across the country and band members.

we are the kids who can't ever let this go.

we are the kids who will be here 'til it's over and long after.

we are the kids whose back pockets were emptied too quickly. we don't mind sharing, but when it's over for you, it's still forever for us.

we are the kids whose lullabies are angelic voices that we've heard countless times.

we are the kids to count on.

and most of all, we are family. don't waste your breath trying to tear that away.

it won't happen.

and don't waste your time faking it. you can stay for a little while, but we won't see you at our funerals.

truefuckingloveforever.
<3"

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